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This ain't yo mama's AA
My alcoholic bf confessed yesterday that he's stolen from me on more than one occasion in order to buy alcohol. Has anyone else gone through this with an addicted loved one? Any suggestions for getting over it and rbeuilding?
2009-01-15 17:42 (UTC)
I was an alcoholic/drug user who went through recovery starting in 1990.
Those in the illness cannot be trusted. They will continue to steal, lie, cheat and do anything to get their booze/drug.
You really have two choices: The first is to accept his behavior and live with it. The second is to totally divorce yourself from the behavior by cutting off all contact until he gets serious about recovery.
My dad had 17 years sober at the time of his death, and my mom had been in Al-Anon for nearly as long. Two of my brothers and I have recovered from active addiction and we've been sober for years.
I wish you the best. I know you're in a very hard place right now. Do what's best for you.
2009-01-16 00:46 (UTC)
I agree with
- those in the grips of the addiction (any addiction) can
be trusted. The addiction
life, and an addict will do
they can to feed it. Trying to "get past it" may be well-meaning, but here, it is misguided. Until he gets into treatment, the stealing will continue, so it will always be a
issue, not something in the past that is over-and-done-with and will never happen again.
So, either you accept that he will steal from you (in which case, you're enabling him) or you get far enough away from him so he can't steal from you anymore.