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I've been with my fiancee for 4 years.  During the time I've known him, I've watched him lose so much to alcohol---his job (he was an IT tech, and this was the fourth job he's lost to alcohol), lots of friends (he broke commitments), etc.  For the past 3 years, since he lost his job--- because he was drinking while at work---his dad has been paying the mortgage on his condo and all of his bills (his mom has passed), and he barely functions---we still go out and do things together and he sees some friends socially, but during the day when everyone is at work, he just sits at home.  When his unemployment check comes in, he drinks it all away.  Literally all of it.  He often breaks plans when the cash comes in just so he can stay home and drink.

Perhaps I've been sticking my nose where it didn't belong---I've been in touch with his dad and together we convinced him to go to rehab (he drank 3 days after he got out) and lately I've been calling his dad when he drinks to make sure he doesn't give him money to go on a spree while erroneously thinking it would go to some bill.  Also, I want to make sure his dad knows how bad his problem is---after all, his dad is in a unique position that I'm not---he holds the purse strings and, while he can't stop him from drinking, he can stop the money from flowing in.  A few times his dad has taken my fiancee's unemployment check in order to pay bills around the house, and that at least kept him from drinking it away.

Well, last week (the night before Thanksgiving, actually), my fiancee found out that I'd been telling his dad when he drinks.  I told him that I wouldn't stop doing that, so he broke up with me. 

My fiancee has made some great advances over the past few months---he has dabbled in AA and just went from having a temporary sponsor to having a permanent one.  But he just can't stop drinking and shows no hope of being able to hold down a job or really function anytime soon, and his dad seems to be enabling his behavior.

A part of me is grateful that my fiancee had the guys to do what I didn't---end this relationship that is being poisoned by his drinking.  The other part doesn't want to let go.  

So, there it is.  Also, a question: Have any of your alcoholic loved ones had any success on Antabuse?  My fiancee's doctor mentioned it, and I was wondering about personal experiences. 
(sorry---x-posted quite a bit)
 
 
 
 
 
 
by Fr. Arnold Damen, S.J. (1815 - 1890)
Imprimatur:
Michael Augustine, Archbishop of New York.


The Only Church That Christ Established Is The Catholic Church. "He that believeth and is baptized shall be saved, but he that believeth not shall be condemned." [Mark 16:16].

I.
My Dearly Beloved Christians, from these words of our Divine Savior, it has already been proved to you, that faith is necessary for salvation. And without faith there is no salvation. Without faith there is eternal damnation. Read your own Protestant Bible [St. Mark 16:16], and you will find it stronger there than in the Catholic Bible.

Now then, what kind of faith must a man have to be saved? Will any faith do? Why, if any faith will do, the devil himself will be saved, for the Bible says the devils believe and tremble.

It is, therefore, not a matter of indifference what religion a man professes. He must profess the right and true religion, and without that, there is no hope of salvation. For it stands to reason, my dear people, that if God reveals a thing or teaches a thing, He wants you to believe it. Not to believe, is to insult God.

Doubting His word, or believing with doubt and hesitating, is an insult to God, because it is doubting His Sacred Word. We must, therefore, believe without doubting, without hesitating.

I have said, outside of the Catholic Church there is no divine faith. Some of the Protestant friends will be shocked at this, to hear me say that outside of the Catholic Church there is no divine faith, and that without faith there is no salvation, but damnation. I will prove all I have said.

I have said that outside of the Catholic Church there can be no divine faith. What is divine faith? When we believe a thing upon the authority of God, and believe it without doubt, without hesitating. Now, all our separated brethren outside of the Catholic Church take the private interpretation of the Bible for their guide, but the private interpretation of the Bible can never give them divine faith.

Suppose for a moment, there is a Presbyterian, who reads his Bible. From the reading of his Bible he comes to the conclusion that Jesus Christ is God. Now, you know this is the most essential of all Christian doctrines, the foundation of all Christianity. From the reading of his Bible, he comes to the conclusion that Jesus Christ is God. And he is a sensible man, an intelligent man, and not a presumptuous man. And he says, "Here is my Unitarian neighbor, who is just as reasonable and intelligent as I am, as honest, as learned, and as prayerful as I am. And from the reading of the Bible, he comes to the conclusion that Christ is not God at all. "Now," says he, "to the best of my opinion and judgment, I am right and my Unitarian neighbor is wrong. But after all," says he, "I may be mistaken! Perhaps I have not the right meaning of the text, and if I am wrong, perhaps he is right after all. But, to the best of my opinion and judgment, I am right and he is wrong."

On what does he believe? On what authority? On his own opinion and judgment. And what is that? A human opinion, human testimony, and therefore, a human faith. He cannot say positively, "I am sure, positively sure, as sure as there is a God in heaven, that this is the meaning of the text." Therefore, he has no other authority but his own opinion and judgment, and what his preacher tells him. But the preacher is a smart man. There are many smart Unitarian preachers also, but that proves nothing. It is only human authority, and nothing else, and therefore, only human faith. What is human faith? Believing a thing upon the testimony of man. Divine faith is believing a thing on the testimony of God.