Perhaps I've been sticking my nose where it didn't belong---I've been in touch with his dad and together we convinced him to go to rehab (he drank 3 days after he got out) and lately I've been calling his dad when he drinks to make sure he doesn't give him money to go on a spree while erroneously thinking it would go to some bill. Also, I want to make sure his dad knows how bad his problem is---after all, his dad is in a unique position that I'm not---he holds the purse strings and, while he can't stop him from drinking, he can stop the money from flowing in. A few times his dad has taken my fiancee's unemployment check in order to pay bills around the house, and that at least kept him from drinking it away.
Well, last week (the night before Thanksgiving, actually), my fiancee found out that I'd been telling his dad when he drinks. I told him that I wouldn't stop doing that, so he broke up with me.
My fiancee has made some great advances over the past few months---he has dabbled in AA and just went from having a temporary sponsor to having a permanent one. But he just can't stop drinking and shows no hope of being able to hold down a job or really function anytime soon, and his dad seems to be enabling his behavior.
A part of me is grateful that my fiancee had the guys to do what I didn't---end this relationship that is being poisoned by his drinking. The other part doesn't want to let go.
So, there it is. Also, a question: Have any of your alcoholic loved ones had any success on Antabuse? My fiancee's doctor mentioned it, and I was wondering about personal experiences.
(sorry---x-posted quite a bit)
I've been with my fiancee for 4 years. During the time I've known him, I've watched him lose so much to alcohol---his job (he was an IT tech, and this was the fourth job he's lost to alcohol), lots of friends (he broke commitments), etc. For the past 3 years, since he lost his job--- because he was drinking while at work---his dad has been paying the mortgage on his condo and all of his bills (his mom has passed), and he barely functions---we still go out and do things together and he sees some friends socially, but during the day when everyone is at work, he just sits at home. When his unemployment check comes in, he drinks it all away. Literally all of it. He often breaks plans when the cash comes in just so he can stay home and drink.